Grief often amplifies within our systems during the holiday season. From an Internal Family Systems (IFS) perspective, grief is not a problem to solve—it is made up of many parts that carry love, loss, and longing. The following prompts gently invite you to meet your grieving parts with compassion and curiosity over the holiday season.

It has been an unusually cold and snowy December in Southern Ontario, as snow has fallen thickly and stayed on the ground. Many branches are bare, but clouds of white cover towering conifers and ice has formed on our rivers. There is beauty in the season arriving this way, but the onset of winter can understandably bring mixed emotions and challenges to managing mental health.

As October winds down, there is less and less natural sunlight in the morning, and the days darken earlier. For many people, less light contributes to less energy in the body. Historically, in northern climates, late autumn and winter were seasons of slowing down and conserving energy and warmth to survive harsh winters. In our current world, we don’t slow down for any season of the year, save a few days or weeks of vacation booked when we can afford the time off.

There is something undeniably tender about late summer; the golden light, the weight of warm air, the growing awareness that something is ending, even as the world still hums along. As August turns the corner, many of us begin to notice the quiet ache of grieving parts within our systems – some of these may be harder for us to name. They might be cued by the sadness of summer fading, or the anticipation of what's ahead. Or, it could be something even deeper: a mix of personal and global sorrow that feels too much for our systems to hold all at once.

What are you noticing within your system as we approach the holiday season? Perhaps there is some anticipation of extended time and space to more intentionally relax and connect with loved ones. There may also be some trepidation about what those relational dynamics may look and feel like. Grief in its many forms can manifest as well. Whatever you notice, before, during and after the season, know that all of it is welcome. You do not have to feel a certain way around the holidays, even though there may be expectations (familial and societal) to do so. You have a choice.

I now more deeply understand that what occurs in the outer world often mirrors our own inner worlds. Some have compared the internal processes to the changing of the seasons. I think that this comparison is a helpful way to view how we grow along our respective journeys.