Sometimes, amidst the deluge of content on social media, I discover something that speaks to me on a deeper level and gives me pause.

It’s mid-January, and perhaps there is genuine momentum around change from the new year being rung in so recently, as there can be for some. But often the desire for change heralded by the new year comes from outside influences that fuel a keenly felt pressure to suddenly bring improvement to longstanding issues in yourself and your life.

As October winds down, there is less and less natural sunlight in the morning, and the days darken earlier. For many people, less light contributes to less energy in the body. Historically, in northern climates, late autumn and winter were seasons of slowing down and conserving energy and warmth to survive harsh winters. In our current world, we don’t slow down for any season of the year, save a few days or weeks of vacation booked when we can afford the time off.

Practices of gratitude are mentioned often in the world of mental health, and for good reason. Intentionally identifying something you’re thankful for can encourage both slowing down in the midst of our frantically busy days and a shift in attention in helpful ways.

It sneaks up so fast: the mean internal voices. The scared thoughts. The impatient, insecure feelings. They are so good at hiding, in fact, that we often don’t realize they’re there until there is a moment when one slips out verbally on the tongue.

There is something undeniably tender about late summer; the golden light, the weight of warm air, the growing awareness that something is ending, even as the world still hums along. As August turns the corner, many of us begin to notice the quiet ache of grieving parts within our systems – some of these may be harder for us to name. They might be cued by the sadness of summer fading, or the anticipation of what's ahead. Or, it could be something even deeper: a mix of personal and global sorrow that feels too much for our systems to hold all at once.

As we navigate our lives, there are always two dynamic forces at play. The first is the relationship we have with our inner world or system (can be used interchangeably). We all have varying degrees of awareness of what the landscape of our inner world looks like, and there are different tools and practices we can access to help deepen our awareness (e.g. Internal Family Systems).

Only through connecting relationally with these emotions (or parts) can they be healed from the often profound sense of disconnection they have experienced at very crucial times in life.

Can you recall a time when you found yourself “getting lost” in something that brought you joy? It could be something simple or something more extravagant. Either way, you most likely felt a little more connected to your sense of Self.

Do you anxiously anticipate the change in seasons from autumn to winter and how it may impact on your system? Do you relish how nature slows down and goes into hibernation in hopeful anticipation of springtime?

What are you noticing within your system as we approach the holiday season? Perhaps there is some anticipation of extended time and space to more intentionally relax and connect with loved ones. There may also be some trepidation about what those relational dynamics may look and feel like. Grief in its many forms can manifest as well. Whatever you notice, before, during and after the season, know that all of it is welcome. You do not have to feel a certain way around the holidays, even though there may be expectations (familial and societal) to do so. You have a choice.