Whether navigating shifts in one’s personal life, family or recognizing larger societal shifts, many people may resonate with the famous saying "the only constant is change".

Therapy spaces talk a lot about emotions. Therapists, therapeutic texts and the work in sessions themselves will often emphasize that getting to know your emotions leads to growth.

Have you ever experienced a physical sensation in your body that defies verbal explanation? I’d invite you to recall a time when this was true for you. The reality is that long before we can cognitively process a stressful event, our nervous system has already mobilized into action, preparing us to fight, flee, freeze, or, in overwhelming situations, shut down and collapse.

Sometimes, amidst the deluge of content on social media, I discover something that speaks to me on a deeper level and gives me pause.

Before engaging with Francis Weller’s Entering the Healing Ground: The Wild Edge of Sorrow, I was well aware of an intellectual/rational part of my system. I’ve come to learn that this one attempts to logically explain what I am feeling to help me feel more in control. While this can be helpful, it does have its limitations, especially when it comes to navigating grief.

This is a dark week for Canada, as tragic images and videos flood through our phones. Canadians were left stunned and grieving after one of the biggest mass shootings in Canadian history occurred in Tumbler Ridge on February 10, 2026. No words can adequately speak to a tragedy like this that has changed the lives of so many families, the community of Tumbler Ridge, and Canada forever. What does it mean to hold grief for the unthinkable?

Grief often amplifies within our systems during the holiday season. From an Internal Family Systems (IFS) perspective, grief is not a problem to solve—it is made up of many parts that carry love, loss, and longing. The following prompts gently invite you to meet your grieving parts with compassion and curiosity over the holiday season.

Grief has a holistic impact on our well-being — it touches our emotions, thoughts, behaviours, and physical health. Grief is not a linear journey or a set of stages to complete. It’s an adaptive process that the mind and body move through while learning to live with loss. Understanding what’s happening inside you—and having tangible strategies to support yourself along the journey—can make this experience feel less overwhelming.

There is something undeniably tender about late summer; the golden light, the weight of warm air, the growing awareness that something is ending, even as the world still hums along. As August turns the corner, many of us begin to notice the quiet ache of grieving parts within our systems – some of these may be harder for us to name. They might be cued by the sadness of summer fading, or the anticipation of what's ahead. Or, it could be something even deeper: a mix of personal and global sorrow that feels too much for our systems to hold all at once.

Do you anxiously anticipate the change in seasons from autumn to winter and how it may impact on your system? Do you relish how nature slows down and goes into hibernation in hopeful anticipation of springtime?

What are you noticing within your system as we approach the holiday season? Perhaps there is some anticipation of extended time and space to more intentionally relax and connect with loved ones. There may also be some trepidation about what those relational dynamics may look and feel like. Grief in its many forms can manifest as well. Whatever you notice, before, during and after the season, know that all of it is welcome. You do not have to feel a certain way around the holidays, even though there may be expectations (familial and societal) to do so. You have a choice.

Sometimes we may think we understand things. But that is the operative word: think. We can read all the books and articles and listen to podcasts and lectures and attend workshops and trainings, but it will still fall short of lived experience. This is the case with grief. Until you have actually experienced a loss, you likely will not fully understand the holistic impact that grief can have on one’s life. 

Some of the hallmarks of grief are a sense of chaos, messiness and confusion. It can feel like we are spinning adrift in a sea of painful thoughts and emotions with no discernible signs of rescue. All of them remind us of the loss we have sustained, and their constant chorus is often too much for us to bear. We long for someone who can be with us in the midst of this tumult; a lifeline that helps to mitigate the loneliness. Sometimes, though, the platitudes that people offer only further amplify our pain.

For a “holiday” that emphasizes giving and receiving love, I have found that grief of some kind is often residing in the shadows on and around Valentine’s Day. It is hard not to notice the reams of candy and cards that populate the aisles wherever we go. Sure, there is room joy on this day to celebrate the love we have in and around us. And, I think there should also be room for grief.