How often does money come up in the therapy room? It can be hard to answer a question like this precisely, but data suggests that there is a relationship between our finances and mental health —including debt, spending habits, concerns about inflation, housing costs, fears about losing employment and more.

Grief often amplifies within our systems during the holiday season. From an Internal Family Systems (IFS) perspective, grief is not a problem to solve—it is made up of many parts that carry love, loss, and longing. The following prompts gently invite you to meet your grieving parts with compassion and curiosity over the holiday season.

It has been an unusually cold and snowy December in Southern Ontario, as snow has fallen thickly and stayed on the ground. Many branches are bare, but clouds of white cover towering conifers and ice has formed on our rivers. There is beauty in the season arriving this way, but the onset of winter can understandably bring mixed emotions and challenges to managing mental health.

Grief has a holistic impact on our well-being — it touches our emotions, thoughts, behaviours, and physical health. Grief is not a linear journey or a set of stages to complete. It’s an adaptive process that the mind and body move through while learning to live with loss. Understanding what’s happening inside you—and having tangible strategies to support yourself along the journey—can make this experience feel less overwhelming.

How bad do things need to be before a couple reaches out to book a session with a therapist? It can be hard to know when and how to get help. What warrants inviting a third person to support your relationship in such a formal way?

The concept of boundaries has received valid criticisms for encouraging a culture of individualism: after all, we don’t exist as islands; we do need each other. Rooting an exploration of our boundaries in the reality of our interconnectedness can bring balance.

As October winds down, there is less and less natural sunlight in the morning, and the days darken earlier. For many people, less light contributes to less energy in the body. Historically, in northern climates, late autumn and winter were seasons of slowing down and conserving energy and warmth to survive harsh winters. In our current world, we don’t slow down for any season of the year, save a few days or weeks of vacation booked when we can afford the time off.

Practices of gratitude are mentioned often in the world of mental health, and for good reason. Intentionally identifying something you’re thankful for can encourage both slowing down in the midst of our frantically busy days and a shift in attention in helpful ways.

It sneaks up so fast: the mean internal voices. The scared thoughts. The impatient, insecure feelings. They are so good at hiding, in fact, that we often don’t realize they’re there until there is a moment when one slips out verbally on the tongue.

Many people living in the Western world have been shaped by predominantly individualistic values that view a person and their problems in isolation from other factors.

Climate anxiety, eco-anxiety and eco-grief are all phrases that help capture distressing emotions that more and more people report experiencing in response to threats to our ecology, particularly the reality of a changing climate.

There is something undeniably tender about late summer; the golden light, the weight of warm air, the growing awareness that something is ending, even as the world still hums along. As August turns the corner, many of us begin to notice the quiet ache of grieving parts within our systems – some of these may be harder for us to name. They might be cued by the sadness of summer fading, or the anticipation of what's ahead. Or, it could be something even deeper: a mix of personal and global sorrow that feels too much for our systems to hold all at once.

As we navigate our lives, there are always two dynamic forces at play. The first is the relationship we have with our inner world or system (can be used interchangeably). We all have varying degrees of awareness of what the landscape of our inner world looks like, and there are different tools and practices we can access to help deepen our awareness (e.g. Internal Family Systems).

Only through connecting relationally with these emotions (or parts) can they be healed from the often profound sense of disconnection they have experienced at very crucial times in life.

Take a moment to consider what the prospect of saying “No” cues within your system. Perhaps some parts feel uneasy about doing so.

Can you recall a time when you found yourself “getting lost” in something that brought you joy? It could be something simple or something more extravagant. Either way, you most likely felt a little more connected to your sense of Self.

Do you anxiously anticipate the change in seasons from autumn to winter and how it may impact on your system? Do you relish how nature slows down and goes into hibernation in hopeful anticipation of springtime?

What are you noticing within your system as we approach the holiday season? Perhaps there is some anticipation of extended time and space to more intentionally relax and connect with loved ones. There may also be some trepidation about what those relational dynamics may look and feel like. Grief in its many forms can manifest as well. Whatever you notice, before, during and after the season, know that all of it is welcome. You do not have to feel a certain way around the holidays, even though there may be expectations (familial and societal) to do so. You have a choice.

When approaching trauma, it is important to understand that different types require different treatments. Traumas must be addressed according to their specific needs. In your lifetime, you may have experienced a single incident, or acute trauma.

Trauma can be understood as a relational violation – or, put another way - a violation of connection (Frank Anderson).  Seen through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS), trauma creates a chasm between our Core Self and parts of our psyche. These parts come into being at the origin of a relational violation/violation of connection.